🎵 “Frafra Chop Me Softly” – An Afrobeat Song
(Based on true events from the K9 unit)
Eh-hen! Officer, where the dogs dey?
Frafra man say: “Which dogs?”
But the pot dey boil… the pepper dey hide…
Ah-ah! Let’s go!
Dogs were looking thinner than before
I asked the boss, he smiled and closed the door
“Which dogs?” he wiped his mouth like he no see
Behind me, one dog whispered: “Transfer me…
To the Police Horse Unit, I beg
Frafra men fear horses, chop my leg?
At least there demotion be my fate
Not pepper soup inside a metal plate!”
Frafra chop me softly (Eh?)
With shito and banku (Ayii!)
The dogs dey bark in Dagarti (Ziree la!)
But Frafra man say “I’ll eat you last” (Pawaa!)
Vegetable Protection Unit (Where?)
That’s where IGP send am now
If you see pressure pot for station
Run, my brother, that’s not your kennel, wow!
They held a secret meeting, Chairman talk:
“Dagarti barking? Still we dey walk
Inside the soup pot. Try Twi instead
Pretend say we be Akyem dogs – Frafra dread
Akyem lawyers go sue am till he faint”
Third dog say: “Too late, I hear him complaint
He dey buy banku for the funeral sauce
Mongrel, your idea? Or we go loss?”
Mongrel say: “Relax, I hide the pepper
Behind the station, inside the Jeep engine cover”
Chairman clap: “Brilliant! Now hide the onions!”
But Frafra man bring pressure pot – nonsense!
Frafra chop me softly (Eeii!)
With shito and banku (No pepper!)
The dogs dey bark in Dagarti (faati bari!)
But Frafra man say “I’ll eat you last” (Walahi!)
Vegetable Protection Unit (Transfer!)
That’s where IGP send am today
If you see dog pointing paw at groundnut soup
Make you know say justice don find way!
IGP come station, ask with one eye:
“Why your dogs dey bark in Dagarti? Tell me no lie”
Frafra boss salute: “Anti-crime technique!
Criminals surrender, they become weak”
IGP look again: “Then why boiling water
Next to the kennel? You dey cook their daughter?”
“Steam therapy… for… for their joints, sir.”
One dog bark: “Ziree la!” – God abeg, that liar!
One dog howl like say e dey preach:
“In Dagarti land, dog dey chop bone
But under Frafra man, we be the bone alone!”
The union write letter: “Give us Dagarti boss
Or vegetarian Frafra – else we cross
The road to Horse Unit. We no go wait
For pressure pot to become our fate.”
Breaking news: They unionize for real
Dagarti supervisor? That’s the deal
But Frafra man just smile: “Shito done ready”
The dogs start singing – loud and steady…
---
Frafra chop me softly (Softly-oh!)
With shito and banku (E don tay!)
The dogs dey bark in Dagarti (faati bari!)
But Frafra man say “I’ll eat you last” (Last!)
Vegetable Protection Unit (Thank you, IGP!)
That’s where the man go tend the greens
Moral of the story, make you hear-am well:
Never trust your dog to a Frafra’s cooking dreams!
So now, any time Dagarti man pass
The dogs dey bark – not for fun, but to confess
They reporting Frafra man, the one wey hide the spoon
Keep your friends close, your dogs closer…
And your Frafra boss far from the kitchen – by noon!
Ziree la! 🐕🦺🔥